That’s how the saying goes: “Walk a mile in my shoes and you’ll understand.”  A lot of times IC conflicts start because two people are seeing an issue from two different angles, and — just as it happens IRL — those characters’ backstories and current situations color the way they approach those points of contention.

When the Pig was being searched and Riders questioned about Tarquin’s whereabouts, Bricu bought a round of drinks and declared a moment of silence “in memory of Jolstraer” so no one would answer the questions.  Using Jolly’s recent death to stymie the guard (and one Captain in particular) bothered Threnn and infuriated Aely.  To them, it seemed disrespectful.  However, in talking to Bricu about it later on, the depth of his own grief over Jolstraer’s death became apparent, along with the anger he’d been harboring against Captain Dannis from events that had happened a year before.

The difficult part in that conflict was getting to the point where the characters could talk about it without the argument escalating once more:  Aely ended up slugging Bricu the first time they tried talking about it.  When Threnn broached the topic, she was angry and frustrated, and Bricu felt like everyone was second-guessing him, even his own wife.

So what are some ways to get aruging characters to reconcile?

First, the IC stuff:

Give them some time to cool off. Not all IC conflict is going to start, come to a climax, and be patched up in the same RP session.  Especially when one or both of the parties has a temper.

Have them seek out a confidant. Do the characters have people they can talk to who won’t pass judgment?  Or who, if one of the characters was in the wrong, can find a way to help them realize where they went astray?  Is the confidant also a neutral person?  Party A talking to a friend who dislikes Party B probably wouldn’t yield as much helpful advice as talking to someone who has no problems with either person.

Now, the OOC — which should be done at the same time as or possibly before the IC solutions come into play:

Talk to the other character’s player. Think about how you both want the conflict to play out:  do you want the characters to kiss and make up within a few days?  Is it going to take longer or more than a single conversation to make things better?  Do you both see an opportunity for a story arc where they become rivals or nemeses?

Is there something your character isn’t getting across? Is there something the other character is saying that isn’t getting through to yours? Sometimes a character’s speech patterns, actions, or personality keeps him or her from being clear.  This is a good time to check in with the other player to find out if it’s not being conveyed well IC or OOC.  A few weeks ago, Annalea sat down and had a talk with Arrens.  Anna felt like she was bashing her head off the table, but Arrens’ player let me know in an OOC channel that he got it — it would just take a while before it sank in with Arrens-the-character.

Feel free to use different mediums to work it out! If schedules are hard to arrange, or if one of the characters needs to do some soul-searching that can’t really be demonstrated in /say and emotes, it might be worth taking some of the RP to forum-based RP or a bout of co-writing.  Or if one of the characters is still in their 20s level-wise and the other wants to show them the way Southshore used to be, well, the Caverns of Time aren’t an option in-game, but can be described over an IRC session.

Be flexible and fair. Roleplay is very often organic.  While you might start out with one set of criteria to get the characters back on good terms, things might happen in between that will cause those things to change.  Be prepared to adapt to those changes.

Sometimes, “I’m sorry” is all you need. Even the most stubborn characters can find it in their hearts to apologize, if the friendship is important.  Think about how to get your character around to that mindset, too.

That’s the start of what I’m sure is an incomplete list.  What have you found that works when your character butts heads with another?

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