Fleshing Out Your Character: Insecurities

By | February 1, 2010

When you’re creating a character, it’s often easy to think about the traits that make him cool to hang out with, or to figure out what abilities she prides herself on.  But what about the things that make her feel self-conscious or insecure?  What does your character dread will get pointed out about him?

These can be anything from minor flaws to major failings.  They might stem from physical characteristics (or the character’s perception thereof) or be a result of something in her backstory. Let’s take a look at a few examples.  I’m grouping them into physical/mental/social, though understand that in a lot of ways, these categories might bleed into one another.

Physical

Something about your character’s body is the source of insecurity.  Is she taller than everyone she knows?  Does he have an awkward gait due to an injury?  Are his clothes shabby and worn?  Is she a Night Elf who thinks her ears are way too short?

Mental

We have two characters in the Riders who can’t read, a fact that made them very uncomfortable when attention was drawn to it, even inadvertently.  Maybe your character’s terrible at math and dreads a shopkeeper figuring that out and taking advantage of them.  Perhaps their memory is missing from a certain period of time, and they don’t want anyone to know.

Social

Is your character afraid her commoner’s accent will make people think less of her?  Is he terrified of having to speak in front of a crowd?  Maybe he never really had any close friends and suddenly has someone confiding in him — how will he react to someone crying on his shoulder?  What if your character failed spectacularly at something in the past, and is afraid she’ll be recognized and ridiculed for it?

Once you have some of ideas for insecurities in mind, it’s worthwhile to explore why they’re there in the first place.  Did the tall girl in the class get teased about her height when she was growing up, or taunted because her dresses always hung awkwardly on her gangly frame?  Did the character’s failure at math mean their brother got cheated out of a deal?  Did he grow up somewhere remote, with only his immediate family for company?

The reasoning doesn’t have to be intricate.  It doesn’t even have to make sense.  A real-life example: I hate showing my teeth when I smile.  Before braces, I had a huge overbite.  The braces have been off for fifteen years and I still have A Thing about it.  Last weekend, Yva asked me to show ‘em, and I literally could not do it. To the point where I spent the next ten minutes covering my mouth with my hand.

Does it make sense?  Not at all.  But there it is.

So how did your character’s insecurities pop up in the first place?  And how do they color his or her actions and reactions in-game?

Does the shabbily dressed character steal finery from nobles’ clotheslines on wash day?  Does the one who stutters speak as rarely as possible?

Do they perhaps try to cover up their insecurities in another way?  The short-eared elf might go out and get a hundred piercings so peoples’ eyes are drawn to the jewelry rather than the size and shape of her ears.  The woman with the commoner’s accent might adopt a noble’s cadence and inflection to hide where she’s truly from.

How does that character react when someone does call attention to their insecurities?  Do they shrink away or flee the scene?  Do they put on some false bravado and talk too loudly?  Do they try deflecting and changing the subject?

Physical flaws are probably among the easiest to create and bring into roleplay, though there’s the danger of coming off as a bit Sue-ish with them.  If your character is constantly lamenting how ugly she is while her RSP description lists all the ways in which she’s a perfect sparkleprincess, it becomes less about insecurity and more about fishing for attention.  This isn’t to say that all of a character’s perceived physical flaws have to be real.  Body dysmorphic disorder is a very real thing (and would be a completely different post), but if a character’s only calling attention to her “too-big nose” so someone will tell her how it’s really quite lovely and dainty and how they just want to kiss it, well… maybe you want to rethink that.

Something else to consider is whether or not you want your character to overcome that insecurity.  It can become a great source for a storyline.  You can go for anything from the comic to the tragic:  the guy who hates public speaking tries out for a play and hijinks ensue.  The person who doesn’t really know how to be close to someone else fails to deliver comfort in a friend’s time of need — not because he doesn’t feel sympathy, but because he doesn’t know how to show it.  Maybe he loses the friend altogether; maybe he has to work to repair the friendship.  Maybe the spurned friend sells him out to the villain.

So, cats ‘n’ kittens, let’s hear it!  What are some of your characters’ insecurities?  How did they start?  What happens when attention is called to them?  Do you think they’ll ever overcome it, either as a part of their story arc, or simply through interactions with others?


10 Comments

Sorcha on February 1, 2010 at 6:49 pm.

Deyla grew up in an orphanage, and doesn’t know very much about how family life works. She’s always being surprised and counfounded by simple things like a family breaking out a deck of cards after supper and playing silly games (no gambling involved) just to have fun with one another. And worse, now that she has discovered that there’s a whole culture of things she doesn’t know, she’s terrified that other people will discover her ignorance and shun her because of it.

She hasn’t yet figured out that all families are different, either, which adds to the likelihood of any particular family’s rituals and routines freaking her out.

Hammaryn on February 1, 2010 at 7:33 pm.

Hammaryn is pretty scared of being close to people. If you’re not close to people, then you can’t be sad when they’re gone. She can be pretty surly and standoff-ish. It’s been interesting RPing a relationship for her and Alanth. On the one hand she’s growing to really like him, and on the other she’s terrified of what it will be like something happens to him. This can result in conversations like:
Alanth: Do you ever think of what we’ll do when the scourge is gone?
Hammaryn: I’m not interested in a normal life, so if you are you should just go find someone else.
She become defensive when people point out that she can be kind of a jerk. I think it’s entirely viable that she might overcome it some day, but that’s probably a long ways down the road.

Tarquin on February 1, 2010 at 8:43 pm.

Tarq spent his childhood being ignored and his adolescence and young adulthood as an attack dog for SI:7, so he’s a bit of a control freak; anything that he doesn’t know or have a claim over is something that can be used against him. This feeds into his continual paranoia. None of these things will ever really change; when you’re a predator by nature, life is all about the food chain and anyone who doesn’t seem involved might just be biding their time.

Jak is terrified of, appropriately enough, being thought a coward. He had a complete failure of nerve during his “first life” that led to the horrible death of someone he cared about deeply, and while he’s overcome that to an extent, he realizes that there’s nothing courageous about going into fights that you expect to win. (And really, he’s kind of a badass. <_<) So it's still an ongoing thing for him to be reckless.

Anna on February 2, 2010 at 1:20 am.

Aely has some pretty major physical insecurities that, as yet, she’s revealed to… uh… Arrens, ’cause he’s seen her without clothes on, and that’s hard to get around. She’s almost to the point of being dysmorphic about it though, and it influences every outfit she puts on – as well as why she might show up to the bar in a full tin-can worth of armor.

Her accent doesn’t really bother her unless someone is being a jerk about it, but she is definitely more comfortable with another brogue around (having Tarq pop into the Exiles frequency is always a welcome sound). She’s absolutely terrified of losing people though, particularly after having to lose someone *again* this past summer, and then Jolstraer’s death to Plague. Plague/Undeath has been pretty much constant in her life, and so she’s almost overprotective about it. (Being in Icecrown is extremely trying for that reason.)

Teuthida on February 2, 2010 at 10:34 am.

Ovistine grew up in Stormwind, and despite living in the Dwarven District for most of her childhood, she was so sensitive about having a dwarvish accent that she did her level best to remove it as much as possible and talk like a human. The results left her with a Stormwind accent but a largely Dwarvish vocabulary; the accent has softened a little these days so you can hear a hint of dwarf in it even over a buzzbox when she’s stone cold sober.

Ultimately, Ovistine’s major insecurities come from feeling very much like a minority in a human world — the accent and living up to Dwarvish stereotypes (the drinking and tinkering) are the main things she doesn’t like having picked on. But she’s made her peace with the drinking and tinkering (“hell if I’m gonna let a few bad apples spoil me whole keg, an’ I’m a damn good tinker, what’s it to them?”), and there are some things she hasn’t internalized — she is extremely pleased with her body and her Dwarvish curves, and dedicates herself to eating very high-quality chocolate in order to keep them in fine condition. :)

Itanya Blade on February 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm.

Dorri is overly aggresive. Her first reaction to any conflict is violence. Even with Keltyr, she tends to punch first.

She doesn’t really liked to be touched and has real issues with people in her personal space. There are a few exceptions to this, mainly Keltyr and to some extent Ysani.

Unless you are in her group of friends (and small list of those that she owes favors) she doesn’t give a damn. You’re free game.

When it comes down to brass tacks, however, the only thing that really matters is Keltyr. She’ll kill you if you mess with him. And Kel would likely stand back and watch her do it.

Bricu on February 2, 2010 at 3:08 pm.

Bricu is constantly concerned about being betrayed. He can’t help but to be loyal to people, yet he worries that that loyalty will be used against him. This is why he’s abrasive to new comers : Are they worth the time and the loyalty that typically follow?

And while he is loyal, he also has a hierarchy of loyalty, and he’s completely comfortable with the resulting hypocrisy (example: Bricu threatened to turn Laz into the Kirin Tor if he and Fells didn’t stop their Troll bounty. While typically Riders > Trolls, the resulting fight put others at risk for something stupid. Therefore, sending Laz in was perfectly good threat. At the same time, he was working on how he could break laz out almost immediately after if he didn’t back down).

As for real insecurities, Bricu and I would have to sit down and talk about it. He’s a bit of an asshole though, and he won’t tell me things I should already know.

Rashona on February 2, 2010 at 10:40 pm.

Rashona’s got two major things she’s insecure about: failing to protect her favorite clothies (anybody wearing leather or above can take care of their own damn selves), and the fact that she is very, very short on that whole “mystic druidic wisdom” thing. The first one she’s aware of; the second one she isn’t.

Niv on February 3, 2010 at 2:27 am.

Raitai has done things she’s not proud of and that she’s afraid people with ostracize her for so whats her reaction? When something like that comes up she just shoves their face in it and hopes that someone changes the subject. I’m still not sure how much of her nuttyness is due to her alcoholism or to trauma.

Bricu on February 3, 2010 at 1:06 pm.

@Niv: One of the #1 precursors to alcoholism is trauma (be it recent or childhood).

After an extended RP session last night, Bricu displayed the following insecurities:
1) He is convinced that he is going to fail at a Con without Tarq to bounce ideas off of. He will not admit this to Tarq or Threnn because he’s afraid to admit that Fatherhood is making him soft.

2) Bricu is not willing to risk a Rider he doesn’t know (Bairix). But he’ll be willing to work with someone who is high recommended (Lore) because if she dies, at least she wasn’t in the Black and Red.

3) Bricu is also increasingly defeatist regarding his own abilities. He is terrified of losing Naiara or Threnn in a Scheme Gone Wrong.

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