Rules of Engagement: Arguing in RP (2/3)

By Lore:

Two weeks ago, we started to discuss arguing in RP. Not everyone enjoys this kind of RP. To be fair, if this is all the RP you ever get to engage in, it gets old fast. Arguments, even fictitious ones, can be stressful events. While I maintain that regular arguments are healthy (both in real life and RP), too many arguments mean something is seriously wrong with the relationship. Examining the relationship is a post for another time (next week, really). Today, let’s look at the methods, mechanics and means of arguing in game.

I’m going to use methods to define the tone of the argument: public or private, calm or chaotic. By mechanics, I am speaking strictly in terms of the in-game mechanics. Means, in this scenario, define how the argument affects the character. Means led to the final part of the argument: The Aftermath.

First, one need to understand some of the factors that contributed to the argument. Some factors are better suited for certain relationships. Two friends may not argue about “who came home late at night, smelling of perfume” but they sure as hell may argue about who wronged whom. In this sense, one only needs to know the trigger of the argument, not necessarily why the argument was started. Getting to the heart of the matter, the reasons beyond the factors that led to the argument, comes with the follow-up.

Once the argument is triggered (and all the parties are aware of the incoming RP argument), pick a method for your anger. The method should be consistent for the character and the story. For example, if your character typically avoids big public outbursts, then a public argument will be jarring for the people you typically RP with. If you aren’t comfortable with this reaction, then this may be a method you want to avoid.

Public arguments are those that bleed out beyond the individuals who are arguing. This can be a giant public blow out, a small argument that continues (through sniping, nasty comments) through other RP events, something that has been overheard by others or something else entirely. What defines this method is the following: the argument continues in the public sphere.

Private arguments are those arguments that are limited in scope and participants. An argument between two romantically involved PCs that begins, and ends, in a private room is a private argument.  Likewise, an argument that occurs only in the guildhall is a private argument.

Mostly likely, there will be a shift from Public to Private or Public to Private. For example, two weeks ago, Tarquin and Bricu had a rather large argument in a very public setting. While it was limited in participants (Bricu, Tarquin and Threnn) it occurred in the Dalaran Beergarden. When Bricu and Tarq finished arguing (but not the argument), Threnn and Bricu had a private argument. There was also a very public argument between Annalea and Bricu that turned into a much smaller, private one.

This method will change depending on the story and the argument itself. Given the shifting nature of Public and Private in an MMO, be prepared to communicate ICly in a variety of channels, including whispers and tells. Explain OOCly as required in order to reduce hurt feelings and unnecessary confusion.

Calm and Chaotic describe the ways in which people argue. Some individuals, and players, have the ability to remain calm, cool and collected no matter what the argument is, even if they’re clearly in the wrong. Calm does not necessarily mean Nice. It is entirely possible to deliver a really nasty jab with a calm, passive tone.

While many of us strive for reason, sometimes we end up with the LOUD SHOUTY method of arguing, even if we’re clearly in the right.  This is a Chaotic argument, as even well reasoned, completely logical shouts are still loud, chaotic noises. Additionally, the participants may start with one method (Chaotic) and shift towards another (Calm) as they begin to realize what the argument is about.

Again, I cannot stress the importance of the OOC channels when arguing. Two people who stay Calm during an argument will not draw much attention, but a Chaotic argument will certainly draw a lot of unwanted attention.  Communicating to the people who are a part of the argument, or are just witnessing the argument, is key to limiting the argument to the fictional setting of Azeroth.

From our previous examples, we can see that Bricu and Tarq both shifted from Calm and Chaotic. Threnn stayed Calm through most, if not all, of it. Bricu and Annalea, on the other hand, stayed calm through most of it. They took shots and did get heated, but the shouting was at a minimum. In both cases, the methods were appropriate to character and to the greater story as a whole.

Jabs, shouting or calmly referencing examples of the problematic behavior are part of an argument; however, most individuals communicate more through para-verbals than verbage. Tone of voice, speed, and style of speech matter more than the actual speech itself. In WoW we get around the lack of tone through Emotes. Emotes are descriptive, they are not informative. They show, they do not tell. For instance:

Bricu is obviously upset with that last comment.

is not as strong as

Bricu closes his mouth and starts to grind his teeth.

True, the former is extremely clear. Everyone in the “Emote Raidus” will understand that Bricu Is Displeased. Unless I’m talking to someone and using “I” statements to clarify my own feelings, they have no way of knowing how I feel. I can only show them through my facial expressions and in my tone of voice: And to be clear, my facial expressions and tone of voice are usually more indicative than my words.

Use the Emotes to describe how the character walks, talks and displays their quirks when arguing. Do they rap on the table when making a strong point? To the point fingers? Do they change the way they laugh, smile or their eye contact? That’s what emotes are for.  Use emotes to show how the argument is going, not to tell us how it is going.

As the argument progresses, it affects the people involved in the argument. For lack of a better word, we’re calling this the Means. Sometimes the argument devolves into a shouting match, other times it uncovers serious problems that were heretofore undiscovered. It is also possible that what is being argued is less important than the actual argument is: How many times can people argue before they begin to question the reason for the relationship?

From the previous examples, Bricu and Tarq didn’t solve their problems in that one argument. The means left Bricu wondering about why they had argued and what was really going on. While both Bricu and Annie were angry (or hurt) by the words they used in their argument, the argument keyed them into the odd behavior of someone else they both cared about. The means focused more on Threnn than on their own argument.

What the argument–whether it is the method, the content or the simple occurrence of an argument–means varies between participants. Towards the end of the argument, the means will become clearer. But sussing out the meaning is what the aftermath is all about. Before we can get to the clarifying and the healing, there needs to be wailing, shouting and gnashing of teeth.

Questions, comments or vague misgivings? Or do you just want to argue your point? Leave us a comment!

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