After moving our new furniture into a friends garage, my Fiancee and I went to the bar she used to work at. Our friend, who was bartending that night, had sent out a text message begging people to visit. Our arrival doubled the number of people in the bar. Directly in front of our friend was Drunkie McAnnoying. Towards the back was Steve, the nice guy who learned English phonetically. Our friend is ecstatic, and he got us two beers in gratitude. Steve asks us how we are and we all begin to catch up on recent events.

Drunkie wants to talk about his recent hitchhike/walking trip to St. Augustine, Florida. At this point, I need to point out that Drunkie had been ejected from the bar when my fiancee worked there(I know, I told him he had to go) multiple times. We had politely told him that we weren’t really interested in his story. He kept on going about St. Augustine.

Now, our friend–the Bartender–is a master of making everyone feel good about themselves, even when he is politely suggesting that someone go away. Maybe it stems from his years touring in various bands–He’s a Rock and Roll diplomat–but he can keep everyone in check without being a jerk. So he keeps Drunkie in line…for a while.

Another friend, we’ll call him Pal, shows up, to have a beer after a licensing test. Drunkie works his magic on him. Pal responds with a common bar tactic: Wit and sarcasm. Drunkie doesn’t get it. He walks outside to have a cigarette, we discuss how annoying he is. Pal waits for Drunkie to return, ratcheting up the sarcasm. Drunkie, for his part, begins to talk about all sorts of his adventures. The night progresses.

Then Drunkie puts his arm around me. I know its him, and while I’m startled, I don’t throw an elbow or react angrily. I stay calm as I say, “Please stop touching me Drunkie.” He walks away to the back room, and disappears for a good five minutes.

On his way back towards his beer, he walks behind Pal and puts an arm around his throat. Pal looks stunned for a moment. He then takes Drunkie’s arm, twists it behind his back and pushes him out the door. Our Rock N Roll Diplomat/Bartender says, “Drunkie, you’re out.” Drunkie hung around a bit longer, tried to get back in, and the conversation revolved around how Pal won a bar fight.

Friends, everything (minus the mechanics of fighting in a tavern) I just described is a frequent occurrence at the Pig and Whistle. A group of friends come to chat, exchange stories and relax, while others try to get in on the action by being rude, crass and drunk. Someone responds with wit and sarcasm, and the situation deteriorates to the point where we wish that:

1) You could fight your own Faction.
2) You could kick people out of a tavern.

There are ways of working with an RP group. There are ways of annoying the hell out of everyone in /say distance. Even the Pal’s “Witty Defender” (a role that many of us in the Riders lean toward) make bad situations worse. Here are some pointers I picked up at the bar to try and keep things sane:

1) Avoid being Drunkie
People, whether they are playing WoW or drinking cheap beer with friends, do not like to be interrupted with asinine and rambling stories. If you want to RP with new people, don’t interrupt. Don’t be a jerk. Do not try and steer the conversation towards your wants.

If you act like Drunkie, you will end up being treated like Drunkie.

2) Don’t Respond Like Pal
As tempting as it is, if you respond with Wit and Sarcasm, you are going to give Drunkie what he wants: Attention. This will let Drunkie escalate, which will make you escalate. WoW doesn’t allow people to pick up and throw other players. While /ignore cuts out their chattering, it does not stop Drunkie from standing in front of your toon, or dancing on the table, making it very difficult to RP.

Given what to avoid, here’s what to do. Here is another example, this time from WoW.

Last night, while RPing the Pig and Whistle, we had a new comer show up and hang out in the corner. He politely coughed, chuckled, and interacted with the regulars like a normal bar patron should. He stayed away from the RP much longer than he needed to; however, given the opportunity, he jumped into our RP setting and added a whole new dimension to the moment and character development.

1) Observe and Interact Unobtrusively.
Our new friend did not try and butt into an ongoing conversation. He made passive comments, indicating he was listening, and waited for his opportunity to join the RP. He did not try and steer a conversation to feature himself and how cool/alone/emo/angry he was. He did not threaten, cajole or act like an ass. He was Steve,the cool guy at the end of the bar that wanted to hang out but not be the star of the night. Just as Steve was content to get his beer, so was our new friend content in just watching the RP unfold.

2) Participate in the Conversation
Once involved in the RP, our new friend continued the discussion based on his experiences. He did not take the opportunity to talk about himself. Like a neighborly bar patron who joins–but does not monopolize–the conversation, our new friend freely participated in RP that had significant ramifications on two of the players involved.

What separates the Pig and Whistle from My South Side Bar are pixels. My Bar is a (mostly) solid brick and mortar building, where people have cheep bear and tell wonderful stories. The Pig and Whistle is a virtual place where people have cheap virtual drinks and tell wonderful stories. Both bars have their shares of Drunkies, Pals, Steves and potential friends. When Drunkies and pals come to blows in My Bar, someone can get kicked out. But when people are typing furiously at the pixels in the Pig, there is no option to kick someone out. There is no bar fight option. Sticking with the advice–and, of course, the tricks that you have learned over the years–and not feeding into negative behavior is a sure fire way to keep the RP going.

The floor is now open to your own bar (Real or Virtual) experiences. Tell us how you deal with Drunkie, Steve and Pal!